I have had many good days of late. Enough of them in fact that I am all “I am so handling this whole life turned upside thing like a pro.” You know being all adult like and avoiding the nasty side of me. Because as I’ve said before, my totem animal is a grizzly bear. So I’m all sunshine and rainbows until you poke me.
Okay back on topic… lots of good days have passed me by but … today is a bad day.
And as I stare at myself in the mirror with puffy eyes and saggy face from total lack of sleep Baggy and wrinkled clothes that yes indeed, I did wear yesterday but I have showered since then thank-you-very-much. And while I may not have brushed my hair yet, it’s up in a ponytail (which I am totally rockin’) so you don’t even notice… probably because you’re too busy wondering why I’m wearing the same clothes and have such squinty looking eyes.
As I look at myself I gotta wonder how well I am really holding up in it all. Now if I believe all my dear friends who have surrounded me and closed ranks with love and support I am totally awesome. In fact lately just about everyone tells me how good I look.
And so I gotta wonder “What’s up with that?” Here’s my thoughts.
1. They know what’s going on and thinking I’m going through my own personal hell right now, want to offer me comfort through compliments. Lord knows you don’t tell someone who’s going through a bad time that it is reflected all over their face.
2. Or perhaps they think that because of what I’m going through I really should look like hell. So in comparison, I look better than what they thought I would. Umm … I’m guilty of this one myself. I’ve had friends who are going through cancer treatments and invariably the first words out of my mouth are “You really look great.” Perhaps I need to rethink that.
3. The last alternative is that I have indeed lost 35 pounds in the past 2 years and so maybe just maybe it is meant sincerely and has nothing to do with my life gone to hell.
Ah hell I don’t know. But thank you.
To every single one of you who has told me I am looking good, healthy, skinny, happy or whatever. I don’t care if it was the truth or a lie. Either way it just means you care enough to try to lighten my load just a little.
Oh and by the way. Ya’ll are looking pretty damn good yourselves.
Here’s A Little Known Grizzly Bear Fact
Grizzly type people really love shiny baubley things. This was a gift from a local customer for no good reason other than she felt like it. (meaning she’s no idea what I’m dealing with at the moment) How utterly sweet and she made it just for me. Thanks Stella.
NOTE: sorry about the slightly fuzzy quality of the photo. It’s really hard to get a clear shot of your arm when it’s attached to your body.
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